At last, I was able to find a way on how I can sign in to my blog site and continue expressing things that’s on my mind. Well this past few months was a very tiring part of my life for I’m still in the process of learning new things about my new job here in THOMSON REUTERS. Time was so fast and I didn’t notice that I’ve been working here for 4 months now and I hope I’ll stay for a longer period of time (who knows I might!?) Well, just to start things again here (after a long period of time of not writing) what is really on my mind now?
I already open this up to my best buddy Binchee yesterday and even to my Mom so I guess there’s no need for me be ashamed of this great nonsense problem of mine. For the past few weeks, I’ve been having this kind of desperate feelings that even leads me on wishing for my death. Why? That is because I find my life boring and lonely. I don’t know why and I guess it’s just me who really has an issue on this but that feeling got stuck on my mind and I can’t find ways to take it out. I even told my Mom that if only I don’t have my own family then I would have ended my life instead and she thinks that maybe I’m crazy but she understood me though and I thank her for that. My managers even told me to find things that could spice up my life like learning new things, taking martial arts lesson (duh!) or spend more time with my kids and for me those are really great options to consider. Someone even told me to buy a car so I could explore and have an adventure in my life but how much is a car so I’m thinking of buying a scooter instead but a lot of people think that it’s not a good idea for me to do (first person on the list, MY WIFE). I can’t think of any other things to do rather than to watch movies on my phone and that’s it. Honestly, I’m still covered by the shadow of this THING whatever you may wanna call this whole dilemma that I’m having and how I wish I could get out so I wouldn’t suffer the burden of having a crazy mind.
Well, I guess that’s it for now. I just want to bring this up to my blog ‘coz I want to know if other people have experienced this before or in the same feeling that I have now, so I know I’m not the only one! He3x! By the way, I read a certain article that if you want to make things a habit then you should start doing it and continue for 21 days and I’m on a fifth day for my no smoking campaign for myself.
i'd still say no to the scooter.
ReplyDeletethat thing that hangs over your head will always be there until you find a way to take your mind off of it. get a hobby, or simply keep yourself busy. do a little research on clinical depression.
just don't think about dying, ayt? that's so EMO. hehehe.
don't worry....that's beyond my options now. thanks for listening to me and the drink yesterday.
ReplyDeletewell, with this blog, tama sigurong sasakyan na lang ang bilhin mo.. pero kailangan mo lang naman maging practical.. wala namang kaibahan ang bago sa 2nd hand eh.. as long as maganda ang pagkakaalaga ng unang may ari ng sasakyan... pang yabang lang yung bago ang sasakyan.. take a look yung mga taong gusto bago ang sasakyan.. hanggang ngayon naglalakad pa rin o di naman kaya nagbabayad ng pamasahe nila dahil nagpapakadalubhasa sila sa pagbili ng sasakyan na hindi naman talaga nila kayang bumili dahil sa hirap ng buhay.. isa pa,I don't think na pasasakayin mo ang mga pamangkin ko both at the same time at kasama ka sa scooter..
ReplyDeleteharapin mo lang ang realidad at kung anong meron ka.. sabi ko nga ikaw lang makakapagsabi sa sarili mo kung ano ang makakabuti sayo at hindi kung sino pa man.. try mo lang mag reflect sa sarili mo.. go to a quite place ( malayo sa ingay ng bahay at sa nagiingay sa bahay... hehehehe) .. Pero seriously speaking, hindi mo kailangan ng mga medical terminologies na yan or what so ever, dahil wala namang maidudulot na mabuti yan sayo.. you just need to face the truth.. do the best in all things you need to do.. like taking care of your family and yourself.. cheer up... kahit sangkaterba ang mga payo, medical terminologies, gamot at kung anu ano pang opinyon na karamihan hindi makakatulong sa'yo. katulad na rin ng sinasabi ko, matalino ka, wag kang magpapatalo sa kung anuman ang magpapabigat sa buhay mo.. pagnadedepress ka o nasstress, try mong mag unwine, take fresh air, tapos pakinggan mo yung umaaraw umuulan ng river maya tutal favorite mo rin sila.. yun.. nasolve mo na ang problema mo, hindi mo na kailangan ang mga doctor para sa isip... tipid ka pa... may pang inom pa tayo...hehehehe... ingat na lang lagi.. KUYA.